All that glitters is not gold

Today, I bring to you the topic of Glittery Gold, sounds exciting right? Well...

Here is an age-old phrase, which I’m sure most of you have heard - ‘All that glitters is not gold’. I for one have been hearing this since childhood. Does the world really follow this rule though? In our minds, we know this to be true, we theoretically believe it as well, but do we truly implement it in our thoughts and actions? I say we don't. Instead I would like to rephrase it as – ‘All that glitters is not gold, but we consider it to be’. I believe, That is our truth!

I guess some of you have had such thoughts at some point in your lives, right?

To an emotional soul (considered an emotional fool in the world that we live in), eventually, the world starts to look like a strange place to be in. the feeling that - no one gets you, people telling you to be yourself no matter what, but not really allowing you to be. I came across this post on Instagram recently, by Browngirlrebel, who took it from Xavier Uncle,and it goes like this:

White Parents be like - Be Yourself

Asian Parents: Be like your neighbour's kid, be like your cousin, be like my friend’s son, be like the stranger we didn't even know 5 minutes ago, U can be everything except yourself.

Xaviour Uncle, you nailed it! So it clearly shows that it is believed that all that glitters IS gold. Because we place so much importance on things that look glittering to the naked eye. And in the process, actual gold or should I say real potential is made to feel like it isn’t good enough. The stereotypes that we follow – for example - someone who expresses easily and is vocal is termed as confident. Someone who speaks a lot is the one that knows it all. If you appear to be nice on the surface, you must be a good person. And if you are direct and speak your mind, you are rude and insensitive. No one allows you to just be and they constantly judge your every action and use it against you. It makes it so difficult to be who you are, because of the insecurity’s others have. I feel this is a very powerful statement to make – it makes it so difficult to be who you are, because of others’ insecurities. Does the world really allow you to be yourself? No! Constant judgements make you question your own actions and behaviour. And the way we are conditioned, we always tend to find faults in ourselves and then change according to the needs of others. We are constantly pretending so that we fit in. and losing ourselves completely is the price to pay. No wonder one thinks of giving up eventually, sometimes on life itself. The feeling that you don't belong is what pushes you over the edge. Perhaps because by now you have realised that it's Not because you are not good enough but because you have finally realised that they don't deserve you!

I hope that some of the statements I made resonated with you. We all have felt or thought this way at some point in our lives. Remember that the thought that crossed your mind may be a wrong one, but there is nothing wrong with you, with who you are. Please remember that. Instead of changing who you are, change the thought. We always have that choice - A choice of what we let affect us and what we let go.

I came across this quote put up by ‘her incredible mindset’ which goes something like this - “We need to learn to say – That’s on you. Your behaviour is on you. The choices you make are all on you. And we need to Stop absorbing the judgements of other people and recognise what belongs to us and what doesn’t.

And once we are able to detach who we are, from the thoughts we have, we replace anger with compassion. It is hard, no doubt”.

Oh yes it is, and I would still say choose compassion. To help you understand compassion better here is one of Ram Dass’ quotes –

“Compassion lets us appreciate that each individual is doing what he or she must do. That there is no reason to judge another person or oneself. You merely do what you can to further your own awakening. This way what others do or choose to do is on them. Try not to criticise yourself for what others do, don't criticise them either. We are all on our own journeys and are constantly learning and growing. So, show them the same compassion you would show yourself”.

I hope this helped you look at things differently. Remember, You are enough! You are complete...

Here are some of the things you can do to:

• Before you let a thought affect you to the core, pause and reflect.

• Ask yourself - is this a rational thought or an irrational thought.

• More often than not it is an irrational thought ;). So rephrase the thought to make it sound somewhat rational. It doesn't have to go straight from negative to positive. It just needs to get closer to the positive and rational at the same time.

For example an irrational thought would sound like - “Everyone is right, I can't do anything right.”

Somewhat positive and rational thought - “ I know myself best, I am sure if I try again after calming down, I can do better.

Start with observing your ‘Inner Narrative” and stay in the rational zone.

Peace & Presence

Kiran

Your partner in the HealingQuest